Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Sneak Peak and Rough Draft


Comments/suggestions appreciated:

No Working Title

The giants stood upon a hill, gazing down at the valley. There were seven of them, and all of them were thicker of frame than any man that Nufta had ever seen. And though Nufta was a tall man, in fact the tallest man in all the hamlets this side of the inner sea, he would have had to stand on his tiptoes to look even the shortest of them eye to eye.
The giants were looking down upon the fields where Nufta's people had been working, reaping wild wheat from the bountiful fields that lay across the slope. Now the men stood still, faces grim and scythes held defensively braced before them, or before a woman near them. Some of the women were scurrying back towards the hamlet, and one just a second before had let out a disheartening scream. Beyond them, far off in the center of the valley, small pillars of smoke rose from clusters of huts, one of which Nufta called his home. The intruders had come just at the ending of the day, and the sun was beginning to set behind a further hill.
Dusk draped the tallest giant like a cloak. He was eyeing Maya, the girl who had screamed. She was running down the hill towards the smokey huts, her attractive skin glowing bronze in the fading light and her dark brown hair and garments flowing out behind her like wake in the wind. the giant looked satisfied; he looked like a man who had come home.
Nufta breathed in the Mana from the air. He visualized the energy swelling up around him. He saw his spirit rise above his body, saw it drop down into the body of the giant, and looked at his own body from the giant's eyes. Then Nufta imagined a brilliant chord of light, flowing from the center of his own chest to the giants, and flowing from the giant's chest to his. He allowed the rest of the world to fade away, so that only he and the giant existed, poised in time for a moment, seperate from the world...
But then the giant shook his head and thundered a roarous laugh down into the valley below. As it echoed among the hills, the other giants joined in, and the world came back into quick focus for Nufta. his magic had failed.
The giants words were strange to Nufta, but he understood them for the most part, being very close to the speech of the woodsmen who lived to the north of nufta's people. And in those days men had not yet fully learned to hide their communications with words.
"I have come to protect you," laughed the giant. "It is a wonder my people have not yet come to claim you. But you will harvest for ME, now, and we will keep them and all others at bay."
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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

What type of suggestions are you wanting? Ways to continie? A title? Just tell me and I'll see what I can do.

Joe Lyon said...

Mostly I'm looking for how the story fits into your model of our
prehistoric world, circa somewhere between 35000-15000 ybp. If you see
any glaring inconsistencies with the age in question it would also be
helpful.